Couple counselling can assist when you are struggling to have a difficult conversation in an engaging and uplifting manner. Sitting down with a therapist can teach you and your significant other valuable skills in problem-solving and managing emotions. If any of the partners is being overly protective or possessive, it can also help to address behavioural issues.

Couples therapy isn’t just for times when you and your partner are having issues, but you can also get ahead by learning conflict management to work in your relationship.

Normal Relationships Versus Distressed Relationships

You need to keep one thing in mind: people only post about good and happy times on social media, and no one’s relationship is as good as they portray it on Instagram. Almost every couple fights, but they don’t post these fights online, because people tend to share their best moments to make themselves feel good.

People who live together often fight, and these fights are intense in couples. Why is that so? It’s because the emotions are higher and the stakes are high. People tell you that compromise is the only way to make a relationship work, but it is not possible to compromise on everything. But you can’t just walk away or accept anything or everything.

And that’s a sign that you want healthy boundaries, but there might be conflicts. Both people want to be seen and heard. Your fight can indicate if your relationship is in distress. How you fight, resolve your fights, and how you feel afterward (if you feel better and fights are productive) can indicate whether your relationship is working.

Does Couple Counselling Work?

Yes, couple counselling can be effective, according to studies, with a 70-80% success rate in improving relationships. It can help improve communication, foster understanding, and resolve conflicts more favorably. Although the success depends on the commitment and eagerness of the couple to resolve their problems, it is usually not recommended for abusive relationships.

How does Relationship Counselling Work?

Couples therapy is not about taking sides or finding who is wrong. Instead, it provides partners with a collaborative and safe space where their therapist helps them understand the dynamics of their relationship. Your therapist serves as a neutral guide, helping you identify and address negative patterns, enhance communication, and resolve issues.

The counselling begins with the therapist getting to know you as a person and as a couple. They listen to both sides, with respect, attention, and no judgment. It lays the foundation for trust, which is essential for a productive relationship.

How Relationship Counselling Begins?

Let’s discuss all the details of relationship counselling.

● Personalized Plan

Your therapist creates a tailored approach to address the specific needs of couples, including communication gaps, external stressors, or trust concerns.

● Safe Space

A couple’s therapist ensures that he/she provide you with a safe, calm, structured, and especially non-judgmental environment, so that both partners feel validation. Couples often feel anxious talking about their personal issues, and it is the priority of a therapist to foster an environment of safety, ease, and connection.

● Ensures Confidentiality

Your first session focuses primarily on building a relationship with the therapist. It is a low-pressure consultation, where the therapist explains confidentiality and privacy. He also gives you an outline of how the sessions will work.

● Assess your Relationship and Goals

You’ll be asked what led you to seek couples counselling, and what your expectations are. It allows you to talk about your individual and shared goals.

The couple’s therapist asks you about the relationship, your history, family dynamics, and current challenges to get a comprehensive view. They also suggest a starting number of sessions with a focused approach based on what they have learned about your relationship.

Exercises in Couples Therapy

Relationship counselling isn’t just about discussing your problems; in fact, it is an active process of learning and taking action towards your goals. Your couple’s therapist introduces learning exercises to practice skills and develop effective communication with your partner. Here are some exercises that your therapist might consider.

● Active Listening

One partner speaks, and the other listens without interruption; this promotes healthy behaviour by allowing the listener to understand what the other person is saying. Sometimes, your partner doesn’t need you to give answers about your concerns; instead, they seek someone who listens and understands.

● ‘I Feel’ Statements

It is a fantastic technique to express your feelings without being judged. You learn to say, ‘I feel (emotion) when (action) because (reason)’ instead of saying ‘you always do (action).’ These statements encourage empathy and understanding, while discouraging defensive behaviour.

● Appreciation List

In this simple exercise, one partner shares three things that they like about the significant other. It helps to build harmony; shift focus from what is wrong/ difficult to ignore. The partners learn to appreciate the qualities in each other, rather than finding reasons to blame.

● Change Relationship Views

When a couple is experiencing difficulties in their relationship, they often feel that they are incapable of being with a partner. They may also develop a negative view about relationships; however, the counsellor helps them to see the relationship objectively.

They learn to avoid blaming each other, take responsibility, and consider the relationship, which involves both partners, to make it a healthy and emotionally stable construct. During the therapy sessions, the therapist observes how the partners interact with each other and identifies the factors that influence their interactions.

● Change Dysfunctional Behaviour

During couple counselling, the therapist aims to change the way you interact with your significant other. The therapist ensures that, while communicating, neither partner causes psychological, emotional, or physical harm to the other.

● Emotion Focused Therapy

When a therapist is attempting to change the behaviour of a couple, it is essential to restore the physical and emotional bond. It draws inspiration from attachment theory to encourage partners to identify and express what lies beneath their anger or detachment.

When a partner discloses their vulnerabilities, it becomes a powerful means to inspire sympathy and responsiveness from the partner. Couples develop a renewable source of mutual understanding and comfort, enabling them to resolve their problems together.

How Does Couple Counselling Help?

Couple counselling helps you improve communication with your partner, teaches you to communicate effectively, actively listen, and express your emotions and needs without conflict. It also allows partners to understand the challenges, fears, and struggles of their partner.

Conclusion

Relationship counselling provides you with practical tools to have constructive disagreements. It fosters a safe environment that rebuilds your emotional and physical intimacy. Couples who are committed to change, open to criticism and feedback, and willing to learn have a higher chance of success in counselling. Your willingness to be vulnerable and honest reduces the chances of destructive communication.

If you are looking for a productive couple counselling session, book an appointment with Boomerang Counselling Centre. Their experienced couple counsellors are available to assist you in all regards and are committed to helping you bring back the spark needed to build a successful relationship with your partner.